A Breath of Fresh Air

We made our way back to the boardwalk and the Mark.

I have to admit that, after having been introduced to his sniper, I was a little less sensitive about Eldon's make-believe balance problems.

We were tethered together by the circumstances, but I was going to do my level best to stay at the far end of the leash. I couldn't wander off, but that didn't mean I had to come when he said “heel.”

“How about a picture?” I said.

“What a great idea,” said the Mark. “I'll take one of you and Eldon.”

We lined up against the railing and squinted into the afternoon sun.

It was a beautiful day.

I felt the phone in my pocket vibrate for a third time.

I was pretty certain that producing the phone in front of Eldon would come with a penalty, so I would have to pick my moment.

“Now you two,” I said.

“Oh no, I look a fright,” said the Mark.

“Nonsense,” I said. “You look terrific, and besides, this is an historic moment for all of us. Who knows if any of us will ever be back here again?”

“Oh all right, if you're sure I don't look too bad,” said the Mark.

She handed me her phone.

There was a small bar graph in the upper-left corner of the screen. Three of the five spaces on the chart were filled in.

I did my best impression of a Luddite as I searched through the phone's apps for the web browser.

I caught a break when the search engine came up. It was one I had used before and I know it came with an image search function that incorporated the phone's camera.

World domination through data was going to work for me, for a change.

“Now come on, you two, let's pretend for the folks at home that you know each other.”

The Mark and her make-believe husband moved a little closer together as I zoomed and focused the camera.

“Maybe without the hat,” I said to the Mark. “Give the public what they want.”

A little flattery goes a long way. The Mark pulled off her hat and she lit up like a Christmas tree.

Perfect.

“Tits up, as they used to say.”

I pressed the shutter and then I pressed the Image Search button.

An hourglass icon appeared on the screen.

“Come on, Big Data,” I said to myself as images of rabbit's feet danced through my head.

“Is there a problem?” the Mark asked.

Still waiting.

“I'm not sure,” I said. “Maybe I didn't have it adjusted right. May be we should do another one, just in case.”

“Okay,” said the Mark. “But we're over my daily quota.”

“Deal: I promise not to take your picture tomorrow, if I'm still around.”

I glanced back at the phone. It was hard to see the screen with the sun behind me, but the Internet had found some matches based on the first picture.

A lot of matches.

I looked at the screen and then at the Mark, then back to the screen, and back to the Mark. I couldn't believe that the computer had seen something that I missed completely.

Cinnamon.

There was another buzz in my pocket.

“Is there a problem?” the she asked.

“No,” I answered faster than I should have.

“Are you going to take the picture?”

“Right away,” I said.

I switched back to the camera function and took a proper picture. It wasn't half-bad, if I do say so myself.

Of course, she was used to being photographed by the best in the world.

Play the Mark, save the Mark.

Save the Mark....

I was getting confused all over again; this had to be some kind of a test.

“Are you okay?” she asked.

“Yes. It's just I –.” I had to make this convincing, just in case. “It's just that I didn't take my pills this morning.”

“Do you have them with you?” She seemed genuinely concerned, I had never seen that from her. Ever.

“Well, no. This whole thing came together so fast, I didn't have time to go back to the room.”

That was true.

“Can we go back?” asked Make-Believe Eldon.

“Of course we can,” said the Make-Believe Mark.

“Are you sure?” I asked. “I mean, your plans.... I don't want to ruin your trip.”

“Nonsense,” she said. “You haven't ruined a thing.”

We turned and started to walk toward the car with the two of them in front of me.

I pulled the phone out of my pocket and glanced at the screen.

There were four text messages. They all said the same thing: “WHERE'S BARNEY?”

The walk back to the car suddenly seemed very long and the effort to move my feet enormous.

I ran across a mechanic one time. His favorite tool was the plastic bag. He claimed that he could get an airtight seal in under a second.

He would bag a target and get them all excited, all thrashing around and then he'd let a little fresh air into the bag. Not a lot, just enough to get their hopes up, kind of an intermission before the final act.

Of course, by the time he did that, the target is gasping and panting and all panicking so the breath of fresh air is just enough to register, to raise their hopes, before it's all used up.

He was a sick son of a bitch and so it didn't phase me at all when he came up without a chair when the job was over.

And right at that moment, all those years later, walking back to the car, I was thinking about him as I savored the sweet, salty sea air on that that sunny fall day.